If you are the mom who hasn’t washed your hair in 2 weeks, this is for you. If you are the mom who hasn’t eaten today or has had too much to eat, this is for you. If you are the mom with the moody toddler who just want to yell and scream, this is for you. If you are a mom who is just… struggling, this is for you.
I see you. I understand what you are feeling.
Postpartum depression doesn’t end at any set age. It doesn’t just poof away and everything is all sunshine and rainbows, trust me I know. Don’t get me wrong, some days are sunshine and rainbows but the days that aren’t… well.. if you are reading this you probably know what I mean.
Postpartum shows up in the most unlikely of ways. The anxiety that keeps you locked away from spending time with people because the fear of being too much. The mountains of dirty laundry and dishes that are coming to be because you used all of your strength that day adulting and being a mom. The last straw that breaks when you say “NO” for what feels like the hundredth time.
Again, I say I see you.
I see you when postpartum rears its ugly head and all you want is to be around people but that’s the last thing you have the strength to do. I see you washing the mountains and mountains of dishes with your tears flowing stronger than the water from the faucet. I see you.. your pain.. and most of all, your strength. I see you battling daily to hold it together.
When the ugly attacks and you just feel like a mess but still make it through the day, I see a beautiful warrior. It doesn’t matter the losses you had that day, the largest victory always feels like the smallest and at often times you don’t even realize you are victorious. The largest victory I have found is the fact that through it all you are still breathing at the end of the day. Even when you sink into you bed at night and are hiding under the covers, you are strong. Your armor may be cracking but you are still a warrior.
You are more than someone’s mom. You are a human no matter how inhuman and invisible you feel. You are more than your mess, more than your struggles and scars. You are not too much, what you are feeling is not too much for someone to handle. You do not have to go through this alone.
On the days you have only a little strength left I beg of you reach out to someone. A simple text, message on facebook or instagram, or even an email. I have learned that writing may be easier than talking so if talking on the phone or person to person isn’t your thing there is a way to find help. When everything feels ugly every breath you take is something beautiful to celebrate. Motherhood is hard, and when you are struggling it is harder.. BUT you aren’t alone in this battle.
Never forget how far you’ve come, all the times that you’ve pushed on even when you felt like you couldn’t, all the mornings you got out of bed no matter how hard it was, and most importantly the strength that you have developed.
As Always Keep Smiling,