We live in a VERY opinionated world. Everyone always has something to say about every little thing you do. Whether they are advertisements, people you know, or even complete strangers when you are pregnant or a young mom everyone thinks they can have a say in what is going on. I got pregnant at 17 shortly after my husband and I married, so I heard a lot of things that I really didn’t care to hear from people. Here is my top list of things that I heard that people really should’ve kept to themselves and why they should’ve.
1. “You are throwing your life away by having kids this early.”
THIS ONE. I heard this countless times even before I got pregnant. People told me I got married too young so I should wait to have kids because my life will change drastically when I do. They weren’t wrong, my life did change, but being badgered constantly and told that I was pretty much throwing my life away made me ashamed of my pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant I called my mother bawling because I was ashamed. People drilled it into my head that having a child so young was a bad thing that I actually believed it.
2. “You should have been on THIS birth control.”
In my case yes, I was on birth control, but birth control is never 100%. I heard so many times well you should have done this and you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. Unless you are my husband or my OB/GYN my choice of birth control does not concern you. Condoms, Shot, Pill, IUD, it doesn’t matter what I used or could’ve used to prevent it one of those could have failed too!
3. “You are only a teenager/young once.”
Really, Sherlock? I had no idea. Being reminded constantly of my age began to add to the negative emotions I was already feeling. Was it my plan to be pregnant at 17? No. My plan was to go to college, travel with my husband, spend time strengthening my marriage, and just have fun with my husband. Plans change. Now instead of waking up every morning and going to chapel, I wake up every morning and cuddle with my amazing little boy. Now instead of travel with my husband I get to create memories with not only my husband but my son too! I still get to have fun with my husband and do things with him thanks to the friends I have who are willing to babysit.
4. “Is the father still in your life? Where does he stand on all of this?”
I was asked this by a complete stranger. She saw my beautiful, dainty wedding ring and my pregnant stomach then proceeded to ask about my pregnancy. After a few short answers she asked these questions. When I said that we were married she had a puzzled look on her face and told me she thought my wedding ring was a purity ring. It crazy how taboo it is to be young, pregnant, and married these days.
5. “Well in my opinion you should do this…”
As a young mom it seems like everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your child, so you get a lot of conflicting advise. I remember telling my husband, “I don’t care what people tell me if it goes against what we want and what our moms say I am not even going to think about doing it their way.” We don’t want to hear everyone’s opinion, because in all honesty we don’t care what you have to say and it will probably be going in one ear and out the other. Don’t get me wrong I got some great advice from people and I know everyone had great intentions, BUT I had contradicting advice coming to me left and right. It honestly felt like my head was going to explode trying to pick out the opinions that I agreed with.
I urge you, next time you say something to a young pregnant woman or a young mom. Think about how your words can effect them. Stranger, CoWorker, Friend, Family, your words can either break that young lady down or build her up, that is why it was on my heart to share these 5 experiences with you. I went through my whole pregnancy believing somewhere along the way I made a mistake and once my son was born I didn’t love him like I should’ve. I was angry with him because of thoughts that were drilled into my head. I missed out on enjoying one of the best times in my life. If this opened your eyes share this post to make others aware of the damage that their words can do.
If you are a young mom or pregnant woman reading this, I’ve been there and I’d love to help build you up where others broke you down! Head over to the Contact Page and please email me. I would love to talk with you!
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