Me Time

Psalm 61:2 NKJV From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Being overwhelmed is a feeling that I have had to deal with more in the past 5 weeks than I have in my entire life. Being a new mother it seems that everything is overwhelming! Whether it’s the poopy diapers, not being able to latch correctly (for the mothers out there who are breastfeeding), or even just hearing your child stretch right after you put them to bed with the fear that they might wake back up. Big or small anything can feel like a giant and sometimes you just want to run away from it all with your favorite childhood toy and hide or as I like to say you just want to quit adulting.

The past few days I have become extremely overwhelmed and exhausted. My husband and I found out that my son has thrush. A candida yeast infection in his mouth that affects his nursing and has been passed to me through breastfeeding. We called his doctor and they put him on some medicine BUT we have not been able to fill his prescription because of insurance problems. It has been three days and we are still without meds. He is struggling to nurse and sleep, which in turn means I am struggling to nurse him and sleep.

It is hard not sleeping much at night or during the day and feeling pins and needles every time he nurses but I know that I can go to God with this. It may sound cheesy but it helps. It may not help by going back in time and letting me get the rest I need or by eliminating the pain I feel but it helps by replacing the overwhelming stress with overwhelming peace. When I put on my worship music and open my bible it’s like every care and every worry that was plaguing me is suddenly gone. I feel like myself again. I can rest in my Daddy’s arms and know that He has this because I am not trying to do everything in my power but in His.

I normally find that when I am most overwhelmed is when I am trying to do everything myself. Mentally, I have a list of everything that needs to be done around the apartment and everything that I have to do to keep Joshua happy and physically, it would be nice if I could get it all done but at the moment it feels impossible. In this situation I’ve learned that to keep myself from becoming to overwhelmed I need to stop setting unrealistic expectations for myself and realize that I am only one person, I am new mom, the house may be a mess at times, Joshua will not always be happy, and that its okay!

Some of you reading this may be thinking that this is exactly what you are doing to yourself but feel like you can’t get away to spend that much needed time with God, let me tell you this, people constantly told me to sleep when my son sleeps and at first I did but now I use some of that time to sit down with my bible, a glass of raspberry leaf tea, my laptop, and just relax. Sleeping is great but sometimes you need some time where you just relax. I’ve learned that at night to let my husband take care of Joshua so I can take a nice hot shower without being interrupted so that all the stress from that day can just melt off of me. If I don’t that night or the next day I feel like a time bomb that is ready to explode.

Don’t let people tell you that you are selfish for wanting some You Time especially if that You Time is actually You and God Time. You may be able to live without it but will you survive without it??