I am a young mom, a modern mom with an alternative style. I’ve always been a bit out there with my looks and haven’t really been one to conform to societies norm when it comes to my style. That being said, if looks could kill I’d be one dead mom. . To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have made it out my pregnancy alive. Crazy hair, tattoos, piercings, and stretched ears… that is what you would see if you looked at me. We live in a world full of people who define your capability of being a mother on what you look like. If you don’t look like the cookie cutter mom with the mini van and the stereotypical blonde mom bob then people see you as a danger.

What Doesn’t Define Who I Am As A Mother?

My crazy colored hair does not define my ability to mother my son. It does not change the way I feel about him. If anything it helps me because it shows that I am taking care of myself, and the second I stop caring for myself is the second I struggle to care for my son.

My tattoos do not define my ability to mother my son. I have tattoos and yes, I plan on getting more. But before I get more I will make sure that all of my sons needs are met. I will make sure that he is fed, clean, clothed, ….and spoiled. As someone who has a creative mind, I have always seen the body as an empty canvas yours to decorate in a way that you decide. Just like a house some people prefer empty walls and some prefer artwork that means something to them. My current tattoos mean something, they are both reminders. One of where I have been and what God has brought me out of, and the other a reminder of what God has called me to do in life. Every time that I see my current tattoos I think of my personal testimony and the ministry God has called me to in the future.

My piercings and stretched ears do not define my ability to mother my son. To be completely honest I have no in depth, thought out, explanation as to why I have these. They are something that I liked. They are things that shape my style, but that’s okay because my personal style does not define who I am as a mother, it doesn’t even define who I am as a person.

What Does Define Who I Am As A Mother?

This list is different for everybody. No one list defines every person, because every motherhood journey is different, everyone’s story is different. This is my personal list. These are the the things that define who I am in this beautiful mess of a journey called motherhood.

My love for myself, my husband, and my son do define my ability to care for and mother my son. I have learned the love you feel for yourself reflects on those who matter to you, so pay attention to the way that I ordered that. If I am struggling with the first two then how can I effectively love my son? Yes, some days are harder than others BUT things got easier once I began to love who I am and be who I am instead of thinking that I had to change because my style made me an unfit mom.

The time I spend with my son does define my ability to care for him. As I stated this is my personal list. I know not every mom is given the opportunity to stay at home and spend hours on end with their child but I was. How I use the time given to me really does define who I am as a mother. If I spend ninety percent of the time he is awake watching Netflix or on my phone. What does that tell him about his worth? If I can’t put down my phone when I am with him because some app, some form of social media, some game has my attention then without realizing it I am telling my one year old that he isn’t worth my time.

The way I speak to my son does define my ability to mother him. Proverbs 18:21 says that the tongue holds the power of life and death. The things I say to my one year old now will affect his future. I am not perfect, I do snap from time to time and say things I regret but learning control of my tongue will be key to his success when he’s older.

It is so easy to let the way others view us define who we are as a mom and more importantly as a person when in reality our actions are what defines us not our looks. Just because I don’t fit societies mold doesn’t mean I can’t be the mom my son needs. In no way am I bashing you if you fit that mom mold. What I am saying is, I don’t fit it and I probably won’t for a long time but there is and should be nothing wrong with that. Being who you are is more important than being what others want you to be.

What do you feel defines who you are as a mother? I’d love to hear in the comments! If this post resonates with you and you enjoyed it share it with those you feel would enjoy it by sharing it to Facebook, Twitter, or Pinning it!

As Always Keep Smiling,
Jennifer